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Here's the twisted part. The part where I realized I was in a class. The part where I realized I have a lot to learn. I got in trouble last night. A friend of mine yelled at me last night. I didn't make any life-altering decisions. I just did something stupid, inconsiderate, and rude, and for one of the first times in my life I got in trouble about it. I can literally think of one other time where I got in trouble from a so-called friend and I don't even count it, because the kid yelling at me was about as moody and dramatic as my friends mom when she went through menopause. Craziness. But I digress, my friend got upset with me and the more I thought about it the worse I felt. I have spent so much of my life dealing with crappy friends and always wishing I could say something, but knowing that anything I said wouldn't make a difference; thus this situation made me feel like that kid that tells a your mom joke to a kid who's mom died, oh wait I've done that too. HA! Back on point though, I'm surprisingly grateful for this experience, and have found the positive in it. I finally have friends who are willing to let me have it! They care enough about our relationship to be mad about something. Thats such a huge step forward for me that I'm barely even mad at myself for being an idiot! I ditched my friend, and apparently have it done more than once without really noticing I was doing it. Said friend was sick of it, and laid into me last night. I did my best to apologize, but knew there wasn't a lot I could do to relieve the situation at the current state of things. The thing I thought about this morning though, and am taking to the bank though you ask? They were mad I ditched them why? Because on some level, they wanted to spend time with me, had planned on it, and may or may not have been looking forward to it. I thought about that and was just thinking..."YAAAA! Somebody thinks I'm kinda cool." (Or maybe they just didn't have any other plans, I like the idea of the first though). I know that
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So my babies, let use summarize what I learned. I have a lot to learn about being a good friend and am so glad to finally have the opportunity to learn these lessons. At the same time, I'm very grateful to even have good friends for the first time since I was in 6th grade. I know I'm going to try hard to learn to be a better friend to those around me, and would urge everyone to do the same. And to anyone who reads take stock in your friends. Think hard, would your best friend be mad at you if you blew them off? If not are they really your best friend. Just something to think about.
2 comments:
wait...even Jeremy?
;)
I wish you wrote not so gay. No one ever was your best friend in high school because you didn't like yourself and you were always wanting pity- no one likes that. I think you have friends now because you have delt with some stuff you never did before and actually are feeling comfortable and proud of who YOU are. Oops did you already learn that? And I love you of course. and you ditched us too. boooo
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