Useless Frustration

You know when one of your friends is about to say something? They maybe smirk, or smile maybe frown even. Then just close their mouth and say nothing, or occasionally lay out the all too foreboding "never mind." At that point you know, you HAVE to know what they were gonna say. You start hounding them like an over bearing golden retriever after a pigs ear. "What is it?", "why won't you just tell me?", "what's the big deal?", "Come on! You have to tell me!" We've heard and used em all. And I've come to realize there are 2 types of people in the world. Those who crack, and those who are locked up like Fort Knoxx. I myself am of the former, in most cases. I would say a large majority of people are. You beg, and prod, and plead until your friends get so annoyed they just spit it out at you with such disdain you'd think they were spitting out a piece of gristle from a bad steak. I would say 9 out of 10 times whatever they were keeping from you, doesn't help whatever the situation may be. It doesn't make a difference. In fact I would venture further that generally the reason they don't say is because it will just make a situation more complicated, convoluted, and corrupted even. In other words, just plain worse. We squeeze all the information we can out of our friends in hopes of finding the "truth". Jack Nicholson said it best in A Few Good Men "You want the truth? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

And for what? To satisfy man's twisted dissatisfaction with things as they are. We have to know more, even when it makes us un-happy. Our curiosity is like a demon in all of us. It's subtle, inside we know we should forget about whatever they left out, because odds are they are just trying to protect us from our own emotions and imaginations.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I know this may be shocking, and disturbing to some. In fact you may not want to let the little ones read this part...but yes, even I Conner C. Tracy have fallen pray to this subtle snare. Mines like a super version of sorts though. Basically I want to believe one source a trustworthy source with more credentials than a Harvard medical school graduate. But my gut tells me to believe the source thats has the track record of a Mob lawyer. I thought I had come to a conclusion, I was cool with everyone involved. Everything seemed peachy again, and I just had to let this whole thing blow over. No matter how I try though, more and more info presents itself in more diverse ways. Like bread crumbs stringing me along. I think if the witch had been smart she would have used bread crumbs to trick Hansel and Grettle into coming to her. Think about it, once you find that morsel of knowledge you gobble it up, you savor it like a fine chocolate, take in everything you can from it. Then what do you do? You look for the next one. And generally in situations like mine, if you keep following the bread crumbs you end up at the witches house, but now theres no way back to follow, and no one can come save you. You get so deep in whatever you want to believe happened, that generally you alienate yourself from the friend involved in the process, regardless of what really happened.



So now here I stand at the clearing in front of the witches cabin. I've followed the bread crumbs through the whole forest and am no worse for the wear. Do I keep going? Do I dare discover the truth behind the situation? Or do I live by the old adage "Ignorance is bliss," and walk back out of the forest the way I came.